Everyone goes through change, some for the better, some
for the worst. Despite how I am now, I had to endure hell to see the sunshine.
I lost everything and nearly killed myself, but someone saved me and now I can
tell my story to you.
I
didn’t have a luxurious life, but I had a beautiful wife and an incredible son.
I had a job that made sure the wife and son were happy. But all of this
changed, on a regular afternoon heading home from a hard days work, I smelled
smoke. My dad and uncle were both firefighters so I knew something had caught
fire. As I got closer to my home I faced the insufferable, the fire was my
house. Not only was my house on fire, my wife and son were trapped inside. By
the time I had gotten home, the second floor had already collapsed. This made
it impossible for my family to escape. A firefighter came out of my house,
covered in soot, with a body in his arms. It was my son, I had arrived too late
and the fire had become too much for him and took his life.
Shortly
after I got there, an ambulance arrived ready to take my family to the
hospital. Another firefighter came out with my wife, she was alive, but barely.
They put her on the stretcher and signaled for the driver to head to the
hospital. I asked what the cause of this was but the damage was so severe that
they were unable to tell at that given moment. I shook the hands of the
firefighters and headed to the hospital.
I
finally arrived at the hospital to see how my wife was doing, I went to the
front desk to ask. A doctor came to the clerical at the same time, he was there
to tell her to tell the bad news. On the way to the hospital, my wife of eight
years passed away due to the damage her body took from the fire. I choked up
trying to hide my emotions but my breakdown was inevitable. I got to the door
and fell to my knees bawling. In a few hours time, I lost both my high school
sweetheart and my only child to a fire that was caused by unforeseen
circumstances. I took a cab to my brother’s house, and cried myself to sleep
that night. I didn’t go to work for the remainder of the week, I was too
distraught over the deaths of my family. I was able to keep myself together for
both funerals, but after that my life starting taking a downward slope.
The
cause of my depression bounced between blaming myself for their deaths, and
wishing I had also died in the fire. The depression took its toll on me. I
usually had a drink or two when I went out, but after their deaths, I was
drinking a liter a night. The first two weeks the alcohol was able to drown out
my pain. The liquor was even able to keep me from thinking about the fire that
killed my family. However, this painkiller was only temporary, my so-called
“painkiller” turned itself into a “pain enhancer” in no time. I went from being
able to block out the memories to being unable to sleep, only thinking of the
fire that took my wife and child. I became unable to function at work, unable
to go without my new vice and poison. I eventually got to the point that I
couldn’t function as a person.
I was
fed up, depressed, and ready to die. My wife was dead, my only son was dead, I
blamed myself for their deaths, and the alcohol that was once blocking my pain,
made the pain far too real for me to handle. I decided I would make the
decision when I get to see them again, not God. I took the bottle and walked to
the bridge on the outskirts of town. This bridge was over the old train tracks,
and was high enough that my chance of survival was unlikely. I finished the
bottle, threw it over the bridge, and looked up to the sky. With one final cry
I yelled “I will see both of you again.” I was ready to make my final decision
in this world when a man stopped me from my fate.
The
man was leaving the church not too far away from the bridge. He looked at me,
and said, “Why would you choose this horrific ending?”
“I lost my wife and only child to a fire, the alcohol is only making the pain worse and I’m ready to see them again.”
“I lost my wife and only child to a fire, the alcohol is only making the pain worse and I’m ready to see them again.”
“Son,
this is no way to see your family again, in fact, this will verify you will
never see them again.”
“Life
without them is too hard.” I said, “You don’t know how many times I wished I
was in that fire with them.”
“You
need to rise above your demons,” he said “and be happy that your family is in a
better place.”
His
words hit me like a pendulum and I realized I was heading in a downward slope.
I stepped over to the right side of the bridge and he took me to his church. He
and the minister had a prayer to help me get myself back on the right path. The
minister got the church to hold a fundraiser to help me afford rehab to overcome
my addiction. I told the congregation my story and the church raised the money
in one week. I went to rehab and I have never succumbed to relapse.
Five
Years Later
I went
to a local restaurant with some friends to celebrate five years sobriety before
heading to the Wednesday night church service. I was having a good time eating
delicious food with people that helped save me from myself. At Church, the
congregation held a celebration for me and my growth. Afterward, I had another
life changing moment that I couldn’t believe was happening before my eyes.
I was
walking home across the bridge where I almost took my life and saw a woman
about my age on the same ledge I was five years earlier. The man that stopped
me became my best friend so I knew that helping her was the only option.
“Ms,
you need to get on this side of the bridge.” I said to the crying woman
“Never!”
she said “I’ve been wallowing in misery for far too long and I’m ready to see
my husband and my daughter”
“This
isn’t the way to your family” I told her, “You are only making it certain you
will never see them again”
“I
will see them again and I’m making it sooner than God wants it to be” she cried
“I tried to go on after the fire killed my family.” I couldn’t believe the
words she just said to me. “I turned to the bottle but it was only a temporary
painkiller, I only wished that I died in that fire too.” This moment was far
too unreal to me to believe.
“You
need to rise above your demons” I said to her “You need to be happy your family
is in a better place.”
Just
how those words hit me five years earlier, I was able to use the exact same
words to stop her from jumping off the same bridge I nearly had. I did the same
thing my now best friend did for me, I took her to the church I now attend and
told the minister everything and how eerie it was that someone else faced the
exact same situation I did. We had a prayer and this time around I decided to
pay the bill to take her to rehab.
Another
three years
Over
the past three years I saw her recover from alcoholism, and become a new
person. I fell in love with her. We started to spend a lot of time together
over the past year, and I was ready to give her a ring. I’ve only been dating
her for a year, but our pasts were too alike and our personalities were
connecting. Three years to the day I saved her life, I asked her to marry me.
She
cried for nearly two hours before actually saying yes. We both knew that we had
to get married at the church we both started going to after turning our lives
around. The man that saved my life became my best friend, and for the wedding
was my best man. The preacher that helped me go to rehab wed us, and helped
both of us start a new chapter in our lives together. We moved into a house
with a view of the bridge. The house was a way for us to view our deepest low
and how we both overcame the odds and found each other.
After
a year of marriage, she told me she was expecting. Even though I lost my son
and she lost her daughter, we both wanted to have a child in our life together.
We decided to wait until she had the baby, instead of finding out if it was a
boy or girl then. Our lives showed us that when your life goes up in flames,
there is always something to look forward to after the smoke clears.
No comments:
Post a Comment